Originally, I was going to write, “What’s the point?” as my title, but it’s not the point.
This is my late night writing where I should be doing my homework and instead of blogging whatever is on my mind.
I hate having a broken friendship. I’m such a compassionate person; it drives me crazy at time when I think about it. I shouldn’t think about it. (For those who are new to my blogs, I tend to write as if I was talking to you or…to myself.) I just recently went back to the past. Why? I don’t know. I just somehow stumbled upon it. I guess it makes me really sad, but there’s really nothing that I can do or change about it.
I love my past suite, but there was too much unnecessary drama. It was kind of stupid, and now everyone that have move on. I’m somehow stuck and can’t, and I’m being mad for no silly reason. I should be mad, but at the same time, it’s not worth being mad because what’s done is done. Nothing you can ever change about it. Yes you can, but it won’t.
To be honest, I’ve done a lot of wrong things in my life. I know I suffer for it. I do because I don’t live my life as a daily basis for me. I should always live for me, but I just want to live for someone. I just want to go ahead and adopt a child and live for that child. I won’t be a crazy control freak, but I just want to give him/her the life that I would like to have had. Then again, I have to be someone like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. LOL. Yes, them. I want to give them what they need to do what they want. It can be like spoiling them, but to the point where it’s good and not bad or bratty.
I guess. I’m just not satisfied. I honestly rather be awake all day and night, instead of rested. It’s like I don’t want to be awake to reality. I think this sounds so melancholy and emotional. I rather desire to live a life on my toes. I want to be inspirational and great, yet I still want to be invisible. I like to stay silent, but to be seen. It’s like the saying. “The children are seen, not heard. LOL. It’s not a great viewpoint. I want people to know I’m there, but not hear about me. I guess I just want that stupid, stochastic mysterious profile, but I still want to do something great but be seen. What an oxymoron. I want to be that person that gives anonymous donation to a group of great, inspirational, motivated people.
So here’s the point. I want to live. I want to live a great life. G-R-E-A-T.