Tumblr used to be my place to blog, but the site has been a turnoff for me, especially the friends I’ve followed. All I see is women’s naked body. Then again, it’s my fault for following them and not following them after the fact. Tumblr used to be a place where people vent their thoughts. Show some pictures and call it a day. Now, it’s nothing but reblogged posts.
Being a waitress has really open my eyes to the public view of people. There are days where patrons are great and cheery. There are days where it feels like the patrons are going to kill you if you don’t get what they want (yet, you really can’t because your power is limited). However, being a waitress makes me more envious of families that have dinners together. I know it’s selfish, but in my head, I’m thinking, “I could be them. I could be the daughter with the father, the mother, and the siblings. I could be sitting down and enjoying a meal with the people I love.” Yet, I’m here serving them. Some days, I wish I could tell one of them how much of a blessing it is to be with your family. When I started working there the first few months, it was actually depressing. The restaurant was the type that Johnny would love to go eat. It’s the “All-You-Can-Eat-Sushi Buffet”. The last actual sit-down dinner I had with Johnny was at an “All-You-Can-Eat-Sushi” buffet. It kills to think about the “what-ifs” and “maybes”. I know I’m homesick, but I just have to toughen up these days.
It’s kind of a bummer when everyone is so used to seeing yourself as a “strong person”. Oh well, cheers to upcoming good days.